


Here is A Heart

by klaudos



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, deaf!hermann
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:51:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klaudos/pseuds/klaudos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a new kid attending Pacific Rim High and Newt's interest is piqued.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I really didn't know what to name this fic so the title is probably bad sorry. Title is a song by Jenny Owen Youngs.

In retrospect Newt should have known this was a bad idea. But too late, he thinks, because he’s already in front of this skinny, pale new kid, hands poised- fidgeting, actually- and ready to introduce himself.  
  
It started two days ago. Newt was in 3rd period, bored out of his mind, when the counselor interrupted the classes’ discussion on whatever the fuck - _thank god_ , he thought- escorting a new student to class. The student wore an ugly sweater vest over a dress shirt and iron pressed slacks. He, Hermann Gottlieb, had taken his seat in the front of the class and immediately took down notes. There was something about him that called Newt's attention so he kind of just stared at Hermann the rest of the class- and no, it wasn't weird. He was just curious.  
  
Then, realizing that he and Hermann had almost all their classes together on A-day he stared some more. He saw his neat, reserved manner, and how very _still_ he was. It kind of spooked him. Unless Hermann was writing notes, he would just focus on the teacher. How can someone be so unmoving? _Was he even breathing?_ Newt thought.   
  
Then it dawned on him. Considering their teachers' weird behavior , Hermann's brief flash of confusion every time a teacher turned their back to the class as they talked,   
and his belated reactions to the ringing of the dismissal bells, Newt realized that Hermann might be deaf. Or at least hearing impaired.   
  
Newt figured no one else knew, except the teachers and that's why they were acting strange. Some asked if everyone understood every 5 minutes, others pronounced their their syllables more, making their speech sound tense. He had noticed Hermann stayed behind in class to talk to the teacher whenever one of them made it blatantly obvious that something was up.   
  
With this new hunch, at the end of the school day Newt went home, opened his computer and learned the ASL alphabet. He wasn't sure if Hermann knew sign language, but he was betting on yes. One time he went to Tendo's place and was tied into watching some TV show about two girls -one of whom was deaf-who were switched at birth. "Really, Tendo? _Really?_ " Newt had exclaimed when Tendo demanded Newt watch it with him because that's all he wanted to do that day. Eventually they ended up watching, like, 10 episodes so he actually knew a couple basic signs. He learned the alphabet, some more signs, and tried practicing what he would say to Hermann and waited until today.  
  
During first period yesterday morning Newt checked if Hermann happened to have a hearing aid on. He did. Upon noticing, he promised himself- for probably the 6th time in the span of less than a day- but maybe this time more seriously that he'd talk to him.   
  
He really shouldn't be this nervous. _It’ll be fine_ , he tried to comfort himself just a second ago, watching Hermann from behind a bookcase in their school library, _But what if he doesn't know ASL? Oh, shut up dude, he probably does_.  
  
And now Hermann is looking up at him from his seat however Newt feels like he's being looked down upon. That would intimidate anyone else, but for whatever reason it encourages Newt. "Hey. I wanted to welcome you to school," he says and signs with no hesitation because he's practiced a gazillion times.   
  
Hermann says nothing; just stares at him. Not one facial muscle ticks. Then, signing as well, he asks, "You're deaf?"   
  
Newt's stuck for a bit. He hasn't heard Hermann's voice before now and just assumed he wasn't oral, but damn he doesn't know how to describe how Hermann sounded like. He doesn't sound unpleasant at all, though. But maybe as if he has some sort of accent- English, maybe? Newt isn't sure and doesn't know how that would work, but he likes it. And then he realizes that _of course he would think I'm deaf I mean I'm signing wow way to make a horrible first impression and disappoint him because he thought there was another deaf person here and now uggggh_.  
  
He chuckles nervously and says, "no."  
  
Hermann narrows his eyes suspiciously and glances around before giving Newt a cold glare. "Why are you here?"  
  
 _Rude._  
  
"You're new so I just thought I would say hi. My name's Newt," he states, signing what he can.  
  
"Newt?" Hermann scoffs. "Your name is Newt?"   
  
Newt scoffs right back. "Yeah, well what kind of name is Hermann?"  
  
"A good one," Hermann shoots without missing a beat, a sly tug at his lips. "But seriously? Your parents named you after a-a lizard?" He asks as if it's the most preposterous thing in the world.   
  
Newt shrieks because he's pretty sure _that's_ even more ridiculous. "Dude, newts are not lizards! Jesus Christ, they're amphibians!"  
  
"Same thing," Hermann says, indifferent.   
  
Newt mumbles something about "they're really not omg" and says,  
"Well, for your information, my name's Newton Geiszler." It takes him a bit to finger spell his whole name but Hermann watches patiently.   
  
"Ah, see, that's not utterly ridiculous," Hermann remarks when he finishes. Newt takes a seat across from Hermann without permission and receives no objections.  
  
"How do you know how to sign?" Hermann asks, curious. With signing, some words go unspoken, so someone would need to use facial expressions to get a point across, like when they ask a question, or are upset. Seeing Hermann's eyebrows scrunch together quizzically inexplicably amuses Newt- probably because almost every expression that he's ever seen Hermann sport is annoyed or none at all- so he giggles and Hermann blushes, obviously embarrassed, and asks stiffly, "What?"  
  
"Nothing just-" Newt doesn't know what and instead says, "Um nothing, what was the question?"  
  
Hermann bristles visibly, this time his voice more tense when he asks, "How do you know how to sign?"  
  
So how do you tell someone you hadn't just met yet that you went out of your way to learn a language so you would be able to talk to them? Oh, that's right. You don't.   
  
"I don't know much, really, just a bit that I learned from some show." Which isn't a lie; it's just not the complete truth.   
  
"Hm."  
  
"Is there anything you need help catching up on?" Newt eyes the plethora of books and papers littering the table before him, which looks messy yet somehow organized.   
  
"Normally, no, but Mr Kofski isn't here today so I couldn't ask for a lesson schedule."   
  
"Okay, no problem, I'll make you a copy," he offers, signing what he can, which isn't much.   
  
"Thank you," Hermann says and as he signs Newt can't help but notice how nice his hands are: long, pale, and skinny.   
  
"Um, so Gottlieb… That's German, right?" Newt ventures and Hermann looks at him thinking, why is he still talking to me?   
  
"Yes. My mother is British and my father is German," Hermann confirms and Newt might hear disdain in Hermann's voice. "Are one of your parents German as well?"  
  
Newt decides not to push and answers, "Both, actually."  
  
Hermann nods and the bell rings, indicating that lunch is over. Newt assures Hermann that he'll give him the copy tomorrow and they both go their separate ways to their lockers.   
  
Newt thinks it went pretty well and smiles a bit as he gets his books for his next class. The hour passes by slow and Newt is thankful there's only one class left. And he might be a little more thankful today because he'll see Hermann again.   
  
When Newt enters the classroom and says hi to Hermann from across the room he receives a startled expression quickly recovered by a little nod. Their English 3 honors class consists of note taking and a lecture about The Great Gatsby. Soon it's over and all the kids are scrambling to be set free into their personal lives.   
  
Newt hangs back a bit and waits for Hermann just outside the door. He takes out his phone, mindlessly fidgeting with it, pretending to look busy.   
  
"Newton?"  
  
Newt cringes internally at the sound of his whole name. "Can you not call me that?" He demands, putting his phone away and facing Hermann.  
  
"I will when it stops being your name." Hermann replies, signing as he holds his books. He is a pro at it while Newt fumbles to hold his and sign as well.   
  
"Aw come on dude!" Newt exclaims as they walk to their lockers. Newt's is closer so he quickly exchanges his books for his book bag and piles a textbook and journal in it. "It's still my name."  
  
Hermann doesn't reply and Newt drops the subject for a later time and asks, "So how was your first day?"  
  
"Er- well, not bad, considering," Hermann says as he gets his own book bag, a shoulder bag, from his locker as slings it across his shoulder. He doesn't bother stopping to sign as he neatly places his books in the confined space of his locker.   
  
"Considering?" They start walking out of the building, the majority of the student body still milling around campus.   
  
"My mother was running late so I left my hearing aids at home." Hermann hates the thought of being late. He thinks it’s rude and unprofessional to say the least.

No wonder Newt hadn't noticed them before; Herm hadn't been wearing any.  “But don’t you need them?”

“I do, but I can survive a day without them.”

Newt nods. They stop at the front of the main building. “Where do you go from here?”

“I live fairly close so I just walk home,” Hermann responds, starting to turn the other direction.

“Oh, right. Well anytime you need a ride, I have a car so you know…” Newt trails off.

“Thanks. For, well…” Hermann doesn't say it, because he doesn't even understand what  _it_  is.

“Yeah,” Newt smiles, knowing what he means.


	2. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...sucks sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> background chapter so it's pretty short. I guess sunday will be my update day?

It takes Hermann no time to get home. His new home. A new home which is just as cold and vacant-feeling as the last one. He makes his way through the foreign halls of the building to the stairs and up to his room.  
  
It’ll be hours before his mother and father come home and it’s a relief he won’t have to deal with anyone anymore at least until dinner time. Not that he had to deal with much before when Dietrich and Karla still lived with them. Now that they’ve both moved onto college Hermann has the house all to himself. Except all he does is stay in his room.  
  
He wishes he could be in college right now. And technically he can; he certainly has the intelligence and the attitude for it, but for whatever reason his parents won’t allow him to leave until he’s 18 and graduated from high school. One year left to go, he thinks.   
  
He sighs and gets to work. It being late September, catching up on his school work for the past month will be easy. All of his teachers provided him with the lesson schedule except for the one that was absent, which Newton will give him.  
  
Newton.  
  
Newton was okay… right? Hermann thinks so. His presence wasn’t _horrible_ to be around. And he offered to help him, which was nice. Hermann gets this nagging feeling like he’s known him his whole life but that’s ridiculous because he’s just met him. All he knows about Newton is that he's German and knows some sign language.   
  
Hermann forgets about Newton for the time being and continues working.  
  
After a few hours his work is done and he’s a bit hungry. He heads down to the kitchen and finds a note written in his mother's neat, professional cursive on the kitchen island: _We won’t be home until late. Your dinner is in the microwave.  
_  
Hermann crumbles the paper and throws it away. He opens the steel microwave by refrigerator; he’ll be having pasta tonight. Punching in the appropriate time, he waits with his hand under his chin as the blue digits decrease.  
  
No one is home so he doesn’t go up to his room like he usually would and takes a seat on a cold chair at the long, glass dining table and eats. He’s angry. Sometimes he thinks he always is. He feels as if there's a quiet, livid anger rolling under his skin. He's constantly seething until he realizes how pointless and energy inducing it is so he stops and simmers down to whatever he is now. Honestly though if they weren't even going to be with him why leave him locked up at home, wasting his time in high school. It’s bloody unfair is what it is.  
  
God knows Hermann’s aware they don’t want him. He knows they think he’s a disappointment. He knows it’s why they didn’t have another child. They think if they did it might come out deaf _and_ stupid. Just what they need. Of course, it hit them pretty hard when they were informed their child had Meniere’s disease and wasn't perfect.  
  
But it's Hermann that's had to go through the episodes of vertigo and fluctuating bilateral hearing loss and his parents complaining -his father mostly- about how much of a shame it is for them to have such a son. Meniere’s rarely occurs in children- especially at the young age Hermann got it, which was six- but that's his fortune.   
  
His father hates him; Hermann sees the ever present contempt Lars feels for him. His mother is indifferent and both of them barely acknowledge the fact that he's deaf. They refused to waste their time learning sign language so they paid for speech therapy. With that, written notes, and Hermann's lip reading they communicate.   
  
They were at least courteous enough to buy him a video phone for his room, although the only time it's used is when his parents can't get hold of him any other way or Karla is too busy to text, but even then he doesn’t like using it because there’s someone translating their conversation and that’s just uncomfortable.  
  
Now, Hermann finishes eating, washes his plate, and vanishes into his room once again.   
  
  
  
Somewhere miles away Newt is barging into his house, yelling, "Food's here!"  
  
He dumps the Chinese takeout bags on the counter.  
  
From somewhere in their house Newt's dad shouts, "Did you-"  
  
"No, I didn't forget the spring rolls!" Newt cuts him off. It's always the same question.   
  
Newt is almost done serving their plates when an average sized man appears from the hallway.  
  
"Where's Tendo?" Bruno asks, taking his paper plate from Newt.   
  
"He doesn't feel so well so he's not coming." Tendo coming over for dinner is a frequent occurrence in the Geiszler household. They both sit across from each other at their small table.

“How was school?”

Newt instantly thinks of Hermann. “Good. What did Jack say about the track?”

“He says he’s interested in having me produce the score, but he’s not sure yet.”

“Don’t worry dad, you’ll get it. And if you don’t, well then Jack sucks.”

“Thanks,” they smile warmly at each other and chat as they finish their dinner.


	3. I think that we're going to be friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More interactions. Also cue Mako, Raleigh, and Chuck... kind of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really late on this one, I didn't post last week because I probably only had 200 words written. And the video phone thing that is mentioned in the last chapter is this: http://www.jazdcommunications.com/blog/telecommunications/virtual-contact-center-platform-helps-deaf-and-hearing-impaired
> 
> oh and I do hope it's not confusing when herm and newt are signing and talking? like they are doing both at the same time all the time unless it's written otherwise.
> 
> chapter title taken from We're Going To Be Friends by Jack Johnson (technically The White Stripes but I was listening to his cover)

Hermann hasn’t been at Pacific Rim High nearly long enough to know where to wait before class in the morning, or, well, he should say the most comfortable place. The cafeteria is easily filled with many students, each clumping into their social groups. The library isn’t reliable because, judging by the past three days, the librarian is either extremely early or just on time when the bell rings. It’s frustrating and he opts for sitting on the stairs.  
  
He’s on the steps, leaning against the wall, rereading The Great Gatsby (or trying to because he keeps tracing the perfect ratio over Fitzgerald's words with his finger) and trying to catch up to the chapter his class is on when he sees movement beyond his book. He lowers it to find a smiling Newt in front of him. A bit startled, he reels back, exclaiming “What’re you doing?” and signing with one hands as the other clutches his book.  
  
“Oh, did I scare you? Um, sorry.” Newt leans away, rubbing his chest with his fist, signing “sorry.”  
  
“It’s alright, just don’t sneak up on me.”  
  
“Right,” Newt averts his eyes, obviously embarrassed. “Oh, yeah! I have your thing.” He unzips his book bag, takes out a folder that is covered with drawings, and hands Hermann a paper.  
  
He examines the single sheet. “The schedule.”  
  
“Yup.”  
  
Hermann politely thanks him again and Newt nods. Then he raises an eyebrow at the folder in Newt’s hands and asks, “Did you do those?”  
  
“These?” Newt asks unnecessarily, beaming down at his drawings of lizards, amphibians, and god-knows-what. “Yeah, I did. They’re my babies.”  
  
“Your babies?” Hermann almost laughs. This boy is ridiculous.  
  
“Yeah!” Newt scoots up next to Hermann and points at the corner of his folder where an iguana is drawn. “That’s Luiza, she was my first iguana.” He points at another drawing, a collared lizard that has his tongue out, looking rather silly. “And this is Dip. I still have him.” He goes on to name all the other animals on his folder, quite enthusiastic and fondly.  
  
"They aren't bad." Hermann offers, and means it. They are actually pretty good.  
  
"Thanks," Newt smiles, and honestly how can a person smile so easily?  
  
There are strange looking creatures running across the bottom of the folder that Hermann can’t name and he asks, “What are those?”  
  
“Those are kaiju,” Newt signs, a look on his face as if Hermann should already know what they are.   
  
“Kaiju?” Hermann echoes.   
  
“You don’t know about kaiju?”  
  
Hermann shakes his head.  
  
“Ah, dude, they are like the coolest things ever!”  
  
“That still doesn’t tell me anything,” Hermann says flatly.  
  
“Okay, they’re these fictional creatures in these old movies, kind of like Godzilla, but better.”  
  
“Ah,” Hermann says though he has no idea what Newt’s talking about.  
  
The next second the bell rings and it’s time to get to class.  
  
“Bye, talk to you later,” Newt waves, going up the stairs.  
  
Did he say later? Hermann’s not sure, but he feels he wouldn't mind if he did.  
  
\--  
  
Newt scurries to class and takes his seat in front of Tendo, who has his chin resting on his desk.   
  
"Uggggh," Tendo moans, sniffling.   
  
"Dude, you look like shit," Newt remarks.   
  
"I feel like shit." Tendo looks a bit pallid and his usually slicked back hair is falling a little over his face.   
  
"Why didn't you stay home?"  
  
"My mom said I wasn't sick enough." He crosses his arms atop his desk, places his face in the crook of his elbow and moans again.   
  
Newt feels bad for him.   
  
"How sick do you have to be?"  
  
"Barfing chunks, but trust me, I'm getting there." He lifts his head and gives a charming smile with tired, half-lidded eyes. "Bet I still look suave though."  
  
Newt wants to laugh, but smiles, empathizing, "Whatever you say buddy." And pats his shoulder as he turns to face the class.   
  
Class drags on and by the time it ends Tendo's asking, "So what's up with the new kid?"  
  
"Hermann?"  
  
"Yeah, Newt, the only new kid," Tendo says as they walk -more like trudging in Tendo's case- to their other class.   
  
"Oh, right. He's... nice. Well nice wouldn't really be the right word."  
  
"What would be?"  
  
"I don't know." Newt twists the leather bracelet on his wrist, thinking.  
  
"How'd you talk to him?"   
  
"I signed. Turns out he's oral, too."  
  
"I guess all those Switched at Birth episodes are paying off." Tendo smiles at Newt proudly.   
  
"Dude, I still hate you for that," Newt tells him, shaking his head.   
  
"Nahhh, you don't." He coughs and rubs his face, thinking he probably should have skipped school. "Uggggghhhh I wanna go home."  
  
"I know man, just take your medicine and you'll get better," Newt tries to console, but he's pretty bad at it.   
  
Tendo knows he's trying so he appreciates it.   
  
"Oh, and I might go to the library again today."   
  
"But, of course," Tendo says in a horribly exaggerated French accent. "I will just stay with the peasants."  
  
"Oh, yeah being with Mako and Raleigh is the _worst_ , right?" Newt asks sarcastically, waving his hands around.   
  
"It is when they're being all lovey dovey," he refutes, switching back to his usual voice, clasping his hands together and making kissy faces.   
  
Newt winces. "Gotta agree with you there."  
  
Tendo drops his hands. "It's not pleasant."  
  
"What about Chuck?" Newt queries, but knows it's a long shot.   
  
"Yeah, let me go and befriend that jerk."  
  
Newt shoots him a look and Tendo concedes, "Alright fine we're all jerks, but he's like a special kind of jerk."  
  
"Just talk to him. Raleigh said he was cool."  
  
"Yeah, after he kicked his ass."  
  
"Point, but, to be honest, it was almost a tie breaker."  
  
"Yeah, yeah."   
  
They turn the corner of the hall and walk off in separate directions.   
  
  
When second period ends, Newt rushes to be one of the first in line for lunch -which, for school food, isn't all that bad- and secures a table for himself in the library.   
  
He promptly shovels a spoonful of rice and beans in his mouth and looks around for Hermann. Sure enough, he finds him skimming spines on bookshelves.   
  
Hermann stops and slides out a thin light blue book from the shelf and flips through the pages. Satisfied, he turns to find a table. Newt waves at him from his seat, beckoning him.   
  
Newt, with food still in his mouth, pats the table and Hermann takes a seat and places his things in front of him.   
  
Once Newt has swallowed his mouthful he greets him, "Hey."  
  
"Hello, Newton," he says and signs something Newt doesn't recognize.   
  
"What was this?" Newt mimics the sign by taking his hand, forming the sign for "N" and hovering over his other wrist to the elbow.   
  
Hermann blushes faintly. "Er, it's your name sign."  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Newt almost forgot that those were a thing. "What's it mean?"  
  
Herm is still blushing and his pale skin doesn't help him any. "Lizard," he mumbles, looking at anywhere but Newt.   
  
A name sign is a sign used for someone's name instead of finger-spelling it. Only someone deaf can give it to them and is usually used with the first letter of their name and characteristic of the person it's referring to. So when Hermann tells Newt, he says, "You're okay with calling me lizard, but not Newt. Come on, dude, it won’t kill you."  
  
"Well, you _do_ like them and the sign conveniently resembles the N sign."

“It is a pretty cool name sign.” Newt smirks around another mouthful of food as if he just won an unmentioned battle between them.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full.” Hermann rolls his eyes and then, after a moment, “…Newt.”

“You did the thing!”

“Yes, thank you for the report, Captain Obvious.”

“Oh, you’ve got jokes now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this, like all other chapters, isn't that great. *cries* Obviously Switched at Birth has been a significant influence in this story.
> 
> oh and you guys should totally talk to me yeah but you don't have to of course
> 
> (tumblr: kaijugoo) just gonna leave that there... yeah.


End file.
